“How did you get here?” my cardiologist asked, his pen hovering above his clipboard.
I hesitated. “Oh, I drove.”
“No,” he said, leaning in closer. “How did you really get here?”
It was the kind of question that made me stop in my tracks. I backtracked, explaining how I’d felt an odd sensation in my chest while working at my desk. I told him about the discussions with my wife, the trip to the ER, and my eventual diagnosis: an extra heartbeat, happening every third beat, an abnormality that had brought me to his office.
But again, he stopped me.
“I know what happened,” he said. “I’ve read your medical record. I’m asking you to think deeper. Why are you here? Why are you, at your age, sitting in my office, where most of my other patients are decades older?”
That’s when it hit me: this wasn’t just about my heart.
The Consequences of Workaholism and Perfectionism – When I laid out my life for him, the pieces of the puzzle started to come together. My days sounded simple enough on the surface: wake up early, get ready for the day, work, spend time with family, and then dive back into work late at night. What I didn’t realize was that this cycle had consumed my life for years—and it wasn’t sustainable.
I was proud of it, though. Proud of my hard work, my long hours, my ability to juggle it all. To me, working 80-hour weeks wasn’t a problem—it was a badge of honor.
But as my cardiologist pieced together my story—viral meningitis three years prior, now this heart condition—he shared something that stopped me in my tracks.
“You’re running on adrenaline,” he said. “And at this pace, your body can’t keep up. You’ve had two strikes already. My fear is that the third strike could be far worse.”
That was a wake-up call.
Looking back, I see how workaholism and perfectionism worked hand-in-hand to bring me to that moment. Workaholism gave me a sense of purpose and escape—a place where I felt in control, productive, and energized. But perfectionism made it impossible to set boundaries.
Every “yes” felt necessary, not just because I wanted to succeed, but because I felt like I had to do everything myself.
The Perfectionism Trap – Perfectionism tells you that you can’t trust others to handle things the way you would. It convinces you that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
And so, I took it all on. Every client, every project, every opportunity. I resisted delegation, even when it would have helped. I didn’t say no, even when it left me stretched too thin.
Workaholism kept me in a constant cycle of overcommitment, and perfectionism fueled the belief that I had to be the one to carry it all.
But here’s the catch: perfectionism doesn’t lead to perfect results. It leads to burnout. And when you’re running on fumes, the cracks start to show. Strained relationships. Missed moments. Health issues.
The irony is that while perfectionism made me feel like I was in control, I was losing control of the things that mattered most—my health, my relationships, and my ability to be fully present.
Learning to Let Go – One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that saying no isn’t just okay—it’s necessary.
For me, the first step was setting boundaries.
That meant learning to step away from work at the end of the day, even if my to-do list wasn’t complete. It meant trusting others to step in and handle things, even if their way wasn’t exactly how I would have done it.
The second step was rethinking my “yes.”
Now, when an opportunity or request comes my way, I pause and ask myself:
- Is this truly important?
- Can I realistically give it my best effort without overextending myself?
- Is this something only I can do, or can someone else handle it?
That last question has been a game-changer. Letting go of perfectionism isn’t about lowering standards—it’s about recognizing that collaboration and trust are just as valuable as hard work.
And finally, I had to redefine success.
For years, I equated success with doing it all. But now I understand that success isn’t about how much you take on; it’s about the quality of what you do and the health of the life you build around it.
The Heart of the Matter – My heart condition was eventually resolved with a procedure called heart ablation, where a small part of the heart tissue is cauterized to stop the abnormal signals. The procedure was a success.
But what stuck with me most wasn’t the physical recovery—it was what happened as I was waking up from the anesthesia.
In a groggy panic, I blurted out to the nurse, “Where’s my mouse? I need it for my presentation.”
She laughed, confused. “Your mouse?”
“Yes! For my presentation!”
Even in that foggy state, my mind was stuck on work. The nurse chuckled, but for me, it was a wake-up call—how had I let my life get to the point where my first thought after surgery was a presentation? That moment became a metaphor for everything I needed to change.
Moving Forward – Workaholism and perfectionism are a dangerous combination. Together, they convince you that there’s always more to do, more to prove, and more to achieve. They push you to say yes to everything, to keep going even when your body and mind are begging you to stop.
But the consequences of that cycle aren’t always immediate. They sneak up slowly, in the form of strained relationships, health scares, or the realization that you’ve been present everywhere except the moments that truly matter.
What I’ve learned is that saying no doesn’t mean you’re letting people down. Delegating doesn’t mean you’re incapable. And letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean you stop caring—it means you start caring about the right things.
Now, I try to approach life differently. I set boundaries, I say no when I need to, and I remind myself that it’s okay to trust others. I’ve learned that perfection isn’t the goal—progress is.
The next time someone asks you, “How did you get here?” I hope your answer doesn’t involve waking up in a hospital room, panicking about a presentation. Instead, I hope it’s a story of balance, collaboration, and letting go of the need to do it all.
Because sometimes, the most important “yes” you can say isn’t to your boss, your clients, or even your family. It’s to yourself, your health, and the life you want to build.
See you next week,
Brent, your Rivr Guide
