I spent over a week thinking about my upcoming 20-mile training run. Twenty miles. That’s a lot of road time to get your head around. And all week long, I kept saying the same thing: I have to run 20 miles this weekend.
I have to run 20 miles.
I have to do it for the event I signed up for in a few weeks.
I have to stay on track with my training plan.
I have to get it done.
Saying it over and over again, it started to feel less like a goal and more like a burden. Like an obligation I couldn’t get out of. The anticipation, instead of being exciting, just felt heavy. Like a chore I was mentally pushing through before it even began.
Then, the morning of the run, I stopped myself. I stood in my kitchen with my pre-run breakfast and thought: What if I changed how I’m thinking about this?
Instead of “I have to,” I tried out: I get to.
I get to run 20 miles today.
That simple switch in wording—just one little word—completely reframed the experience. It wasn’t a burden anymore; it was a privilege.
And with that mindset, I went out and had one of the best long runs I’ve had in a while.
The scenery was fresh—I picked a route I hadn’t run before. A peaceful creek ran alongside the entire dirt road. I even spotted a few trout darting through the water. The weather was temperate, just cool enough to feel refreshing but not cold. My legs felt strong, my breath was steady, and for 20 miles, I just… enjoyed it.
Here’s the thing: nothing about the circumstances of that day changed. It was still 20 miles. My training plan still called for it. The distance didn’t magically shrink. But the shift in my mindset—from obligation to opportunity—made all the difference.
“I have to” implies you’re being forced into something. It carries the weight of pressure, responsibility, and sometimes even resentment. But “I get to”? That phrase is full of gratitude, possibility, and perspective.
“I get to” means:
- I’m healthy enough to run 20 miles.
- My body is strong, uninjured, and capable.
- I have the time, space, and support to train.
- I’ve put in the work to prepare, and I’m ready.
That’s something to celebrate.
After the run, I started thinking about other times in life where this shift from “have to” to “get to” made a difference. One memory that came back to me was from when my kids were younger. We used to ride bikes together to and from school—and I loved it. Those rides became mini adventures: a time to talk about their day, laugh about something silly, or just cruise in silence and be present. It wasn’t just about transportation. It was about connection. I didn’t have to do it—I genuinely got to. And I looked forward to it every time.
At work, I’ve seen this mindset shift transform even the most daunting projects. When I tell myself “I get to work on this,” instead of “I have to,” suddenly the work feels meaningful. Energizing, even. It’s a recognition that I have a role to play, that someone trusts me with it, and that I’m in a position to make an impact.
The phrase “I get to” is a quiet invitation to adopt a growth mindset. It’s an acknowledgment that you’re not stuck—you’re choosing. Even if the task is hard, even if the road ahead is long, the “get to” mindset is one that moves you forward.
Of course, we all have responsibilities. There will always be things in life that feel like “have to”s. But how many of those could be reframed? How many could actually be “get to”s in disguise?
You don’t have to sugarcoat every challenge. But when we step back and see the bigger picture—health, opportunity, connection, purpose—we might just find more to be grateful for than we realized.
So as you look at what’s ahead for you—this week, this month, this season—try asking yourself:
How much of this do I really have to do? And how much of it do I get to do?
That small change might just shift your whole experience.
See you next week,
Brent, your Rivr Guide
