We all have a trusted network. Friends, colleagues, family—the people we reach out to when we’re facing a challenge, chasing a big goal, or simply trying to make a good decision. And often, that circle is incredibly helpful. They cheer us on, offer perspective, and sometimes give us exactly what we need to move forward.
Support vs. Expertise
But over time, I’ve learned something important: support and expertise are not the same thing. Your circle might offer encouragement, perspective, and even motivation—but that doesn’t always translate to the kind of guidance you need to make the right move.
Sometimes, you need to take it one step further and seek insight from someone with relevant experience. A quick internet search or a headline from a self-proclaimed expert doesn’t count. Real insight comes from people who’ve actually been there—who’ve lived through the challenge, not just observed it from the sidelines.
As you seek expertise, ask yourself: Is this coming from someone who truly understands what I’m facing? Or just someone who means well—or worse, someone confidently speaking from experience they don’t actually have? That difference can completely reshape the outcome.
When Selling a Business, Opinions Weren’t Enough
Several years ago, I was preparing to sell one of my companies. I started doing what many of us do: I reached out to people in my network. Smart, capable people. They knew my business. They knew me. And when they started throwing out big, exciting numbers, I couldn’t help but get swept up in the enthusiasm.
“You’ve built something incredible—it’s worth a big number.”
“Target a sale at this number. That’s what I’d do.”
The confidence was contagious. But eventually, I had to step back and ask a basic question: How many of these people have actually sold their own businesses?
The answer? None.
It dawned on me that while their support was invaluable, they lacked the specific expertise I needed. So, I shifted gears and started talking to experts who had bought and sold companies with similarities to mine. People who’d been through it, negotiated deals, navigated due diligence, and closed on real outcomes. The feedback I got was dramatically different—more grounded, more detailed, more actionable. And ultimately, it led to a successful, realistic sale.
Preparing for the Grand Canyon—With a Coach
That experience stuck with me. And it came up again in a very different setting.
A few years ago, I decided to run a 48-mile trek across the Grand Canyon—rim to rim to rim. It’s a wild journey: nearly two marathons’ worth of trail running, elevation swings, and desert heat. I read stories, researched training strategies, and talked to a few people who had done it. But still, I felt uncertain. I didn’t want to just attempt this thing—I wanted to finish it, and more importantly, finish it well.
So, I hired a coach. Someone who had not only trained runners for endurance events, but who also knew how to tailor the plan to me—my inexperience, my schedule, my fitness, my quirks. The plan was smart. It was structured. It was challenging. And in the end, it worked. I completed the run without injury, enjoyed the experience (as much as one can while climbing out of the Grand Canyon around mile 42), and felt genuinely prepared.
Once again, the right guide made all the difference.
Tapping Into Decades of Experience
And then there’s a professional chapter of my life—running a private equity firm. I was fortunate to have access to some of the most experienced, successful investors in the industry. These were people who had been operating at a high level for decades—30 years or more—navigating multiple cycles, challenges, and evolutions in the private markets. When we faced tough questions, they weren’t guessing. They weren’t Googling. They were drawing from a deep well of experience.
Our internal team was sharp, hardworking, and talented. But the ability to tap into highly successful industry leaders elevated everything. We didn’t lean on them because we couldn’t figure things out. We leaned on them because they had figured it out, over and over again. That’s not a shortcut; that’s wisdom.
The Pattern Repeats
Whether it’s business, athletics, or something entirely different, the pattern repeats: there’s incredible value in knowing when to seek advice from friends and colleagues—and when to reach out to experts who’ve been where you’re going.
It doesn’t mean your network isn’t valuable. It is. But if you’re building something important, making a high-stakes decision, or trying to push beyond what you’ve done before—ask yourself: Are you looking for support, or are you looking for expertise?
Because the truth is, many seasoned experts are more willing to help than we realize. They’re out there. They’re experienced. And all you have to do is ask.
Final Thought
So the next time you’re facing something big, don’t just ask for opinions—ask for experience. Seek out the people who have the track record, not just the pep talk. And when you find them, listen closely.
That’s where the real insight lives—and that’s the kind of guidance that moves you forward.
See you next week,
Brent, your Rivr Guide
