Every organization has a culture. It’s the unspoken (and sometimes spoken) rules that guide how people behave, treat one another, and respond to challenges. It’s the DNA of the company, shaping everything from how decisions are made to how conflict is handled. Culture often isn’t written down—it’s learned through experience and observation. And sometimes, it’s learned the hard way.
Let me take you back to a particular chapter in my career, when I learned a tough lesson about culture. I was working for a company that had been around for decades. Its culture? Notorious. It was often described as “command-and-control,” with an autocratic style of leadership where the rules were simple: leaders spoke, and everyone else listened. No interruptions, no questions, no debates. Speak when spoken to.
That was just the way it was.
But, like many organizations, this one wanted to change. The CEO led the charge for transformation, outlining a vision for a more collaborative and open culture. He spoke passionately before the entire organization, declaring, “We want open dialogue. Ask questions. Speak up. Everyone’s voice has value.” Each executive leader, including the head of strategy—who had been with the company for over 20 years—echoed this commitment, reinforcing the importance of the shift in their own way.
I believed them. I mean, why wouldn’t I?
Little did I know, I was about to fail the culture test.
The Meeting That Changed Everything – A few weeks later, I was invited to a high-level strategy meeting. This was a big deal—a room of about 15 people, led by the head of strategy who had just reinforced the CEO’s vision of open dialogue. As the meeting began, the room was eerily quiet. You could hear a pin drop. The leader started presenting, and everyone just…listened.
Now, my background is in management consulting, where asking questions is practically a job requirement. So, when a point came up that I thought could use some clarification, I raised my hand and asked a straightforward question.
To my relief, the leader paused, then answered it and moved on. I felt good about it—like I had done exactly what we were now supposed to do in this “new culture.”
But as the meeting wrapped up and I returned to my desk, a colleague stopped by.
“Do you have a minute?” she asked.
“Sure,” I said.
She leaned in and whispered, “You’re not supposed to talk in those meetings.”
I froze. “What do you mean? The head of strategy encouraged us to ask questions.”
She sighed. “Yeah, but everyone knows he doesn’t actually mean it. That leader doesn’t want to hear from us. It’s been like this for years.”
I was stunned. I had believed the message of change, but apparently, the culture hadn’t caught up yet—or maybe it never would.
The Aftermath – The feedback didn’t stop there. Later that day, another colleague pulled me aside. “You spoke up in the meeting? Bold move. But you should know better. This place doesn’t change overnight.”
Then came the kicker: my boss brought it up during our weekly one-on-one check-in. He didn’t explicitly scold me, but the undertone was clear—I had stepped out of line. And to my shock, my “communication style” during that single meeting even showed up in my annual review.
That’s when it hit me: culture is hard to change. No memo, speech, or leadership book can instantly undo decades of ingrained behaviors.
What I Learned – Looking back, I realize I didn’t fail the culture test because I asked a question. I failed because I misunderstood the reality of the organization.
It’s one thing to announce a cultural shift, but it’s another thing entirely to live it. The head of strategy, for all their talk of collaboration, wasn’t fully on board. After decades in the old system, their actions still reflected the command-and-control habits that had defined the company for so long.
And that’s the tricky part. Even when leaders want change, actually shifting behaviors is a tall order. It’s not enough to give permission for people to act differently—you have to model it. The CEO and other leaders must hold themselves and everyone else accountable for living the new culture. Without accountability at every level, no amount of encouragement will make the change stick.
I also learned something about myself. I knew the history of the organization. I knew the leader’s style. I thought things were changing, but I didn’t fully appreciate how slow and uneven that process can be. Change takes more than words. It takes collective commitment, accountability, and a whole lot of time.
Moving Forward – That experience stayed with me for years, but I’m grateful for it. It taught me that culture isn’t just a mission statement or a leadership mantra. It’s the behaviors, habits, and mindsets people live out every day.
If you’re part of an organization caught between the old and the new, don’t be discouraged. Change is possible, but it takes persistence, patience, and a willingness to challenge deeply rooted habits.
Because when it comes to culture, it’s not what you say that matters most—it’s what you do.
See you next week,
Brent, your Rivr Guide
